I have mixed emotions on how much I share on my blog. Not because I don't want to, but because I don't really know who all may be reading it. But I supposed, I don't really care.
I have been blessed to have so many amazing friends in my life. I really consider every friendship I have or ever had or ever WILL have a gift. God didn't put any sisters in my life, but He gave me so many close friends that I don't need any sisters. (Note: Lo, Bailey, Ali...you will always be"sisters" to me.)
Growing up I had a friend that was so close to me. We were so similar but so different that it made every aspect of our friendship unique. We were always together, and we always had a good time. Her and I shared so many memories throughout the years, it is impossible to even keep track. We were so close and then... we had a huge falling out. A friendship that was meant to last a lifetime turned upside down in a moment. I take responsibility for some of the fallout, especially the way I reacted. We were supposed to be friends forever though.
I know there is a reason for all of it. The fallout, the relationship that happened after, everything. I feel like the whole situation happened so quickly and by the time I found out... the only thing I could do was freak out. (Gosh, I am so good at that!)
The other day Prince Patrick and I were walking and a conversation came up that reminded me of her. I started to tell a story and then paused because I couldn't really remember what happened. I quickly picked up my phone and started texting her but then I thought, 'Are we over this? I thought we moved on. We have apologized but is it forgiven? Is this appropriate?' I decided to drop the story and not send the text. However, often times I am reminded of something and I just automatically assume that we are still best friends...like the whole situation [that occurred nearly fifteen years ago] never happened. I would say I wish the whole thing had never happened but really I don't. I don't regret what followed our friendship and who would say that my life wouldn't have been drastically different if the situation hadn't happened. But I do miss our friendship, and I know that will never change.
Okay, well onward... Facebook just likes to remind me of things that often times I would like not to be reminded of. Plus I hadn't blogged in a while and I felt like venting.
Farm bound this weekend :)